Is Your Partner Cheating on you?

Is your mate giving you any *DANGER* signs? Are you getting those nightmares that your mate might be having an affair? Find out if he is displaying any of the warning signals described by Raymond B. Green, a private investigator and former police officer, and Marcella Bakur, a psychology professor at Marymount Manhattan College. Here, the 32 emotional signs that he is having an affair:

• He is more attentive to your needs than usual. This is due to the guilt feelings experienced by the cheater in the early stages of his or her affair. The attention will diminish as the affair continues.
• Begins buying you gifts — lots of gifts. These are "guilt gifts" purchased because your partner feels guilty about betraying you and showering you with presents makes him or her feel better.
• His behavior is causing a gut feeling in you that something isn't right. If this happens, pay attention to your instincts. Ignoring them means you want to blind yourself to the truth. You know your mate's habits, routines and attitudes better than anybody, so be suspicious when these things change.
• Starts arguments for no reason. Doing this gives him reason to get mad and thus the opportunity to meet a lover. A cheater may also do this because of mixed emotions he is feeling about betraying you.
• Constantly talks about your relationship ending when you fight or argue. He says things like, "What would you do if our relationship ended?" or "If anything ever happened to us, I would always love you like a friend." In general, he seems very negative about your relationship. Your mate makes these statements because he has a lover to fall back on if your relationship ends. If your partner repeats these kinds of statements often, be suspicious.
• Becomes very moody. He seems very upbeat and excited when leaving you but acts somber and depressed when around you. If your mate is in a long-term affair, he/she will try to keep both relationships running smoothly. Any problems the cheater has in one relationship will spill over into the other relationship as well. This is inevitable.
• Has become cold and inconsiderate of your feelings.
• The taste in music suddenly changes. For instance, he always listened to pop music but suddenly starts listening to country music. Your partner might be listening to and growing fond of this new type of music because her lover listens to it.
• Lacks self-esteem. This doesn't necessarily mean he will go out and have an affair, but an insecure individual often looks to others for guidance. If an insecure person's needs aren't being met, he might find the desired feelings of security and positive feedback in an affair with someone else.
• Criticizes things about you that he or she once found attractive and appealing.
• Easily becomes offended at the comments, however harmless, that you make.
• Stops complimenting you on your looks.
• Stops saying those three words.
• Acts guilty when you do something nice for him or her. You are supposed to be the person who is making life miserable and the relationship untenable. By doing something nice, you force the cheater to think about what he or she is doing.
• Turns the table and accuses you of cheating but has no evidence.
• Would rather spend time with friends than be with you.
• Shows no interest in your relationship's future.
• Stops being affectionate.
• Begins using new catch phrases or starts to tell types of jokes or express opinions that are unusual for him or her.
• Has been acting emotionally distant and withdrawn but when you ask about it, he doesn't want to discuss it and becomes very protective of his privacy.
• Seems disinterested and distracted during sex.
• Talks while sleeping and mentions the name of a particular person on more than one occasion.
• Seems startled or confused when awakened. This uncertainty may be caused by not being sure which bedroom and which lover's bed he or she is in.
• Behavior is such that your friends begin asking you what's wrong. Close friends and family members often will notice tension or discord between the two of you before you are fully aware of it.
• Easily becomes offended when you make normal and natural inquiries and may demand to know why you are checking up on him or her.
• Keeps his cell phone Ringer off. Unexplained, missed calls or calls not returned.

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